“That went bad,” my new client, Marina, said.
“What bothered you the most?” I asked.
“I could see it. Many people in the audience disconnected,” she said.

This began a significant conversation.

I mentioned how people have different styles of hearing. Some people lean toward hearing the positive. The negative details bounce off them.
Other people want to “hear the bad news first.” They claim that they want the realistic view, and they can take it.

Here’s an example. When I speak on the topic of Darkest Secrets of Scaling, I help business owners face essential truths that assist them to expand and upgrade their businesses.

I reach the audience members in two ways.
I share the tough realities — what some may call the truths that bring up “negative” impressions.

The Darkest Secrets of Scaling:

1. You can lose all trust in a moment.
2. It’s easy to make people afraid to tell you the truth.
3. If you don’t have a reserve now, how can you handle more?

Secondly, I share related positive actions.

Positive Actions:

1. Communicate your actual trustworthiness.
2. Appreciate people who tell the truth.
3. Work daily to improve your reserve*.

* I speak of your reserve in terms of a “stored capacity” of calm, positive energy, and ability to perceive the overall situation. Your reserve helps you respond well to people and make excellent decisions.

During our coaching session, I guided Marina to develop her presentations and casual remarks that include both the “negative” and “positive” so people can hear her and understand the meaning of her material. This is how you can effectively lead and persuade people. You cover both the positive and the negative.

Do you speak in ways that reach people who lean toward the positive? And, do you have material that brings up relevant “negative” details for people who respond better to the tough realities?

As the Communication Sage and Spoken Word Strategist, I have seen my clients do well when they expand their “toolkit” of ways to communicate. When you talk about a tough reality, share positive actions that can be used to improve the situation. Even better, ask for responses of your audience about their ideas of actions that can contribute to improvements. Truly engage the listeners.

How can you say your most important points in positive ways and also include tough-minded details that acknowledge real-world problems?

May these insights support your great moments.

Call to Action

To connect with your creativity and build for the future … Go deeper and take my online courses:

Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

Success Secrets: Confidence and Skills to Handle Toxic People

How You Can Believe in Yourself, Write and Complete Your Novel

How Lucky People Get Lucky—Secrets to Maximize Your Luck

Darkest Secrets of Film Directing: How Successful Directors Overcome Hidden Traps

Be Fearless with Your Home-based Business — Unleash Your Hidden Wealth

Darkest Secrets of Making a Pitch for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say YES to Your Project

Your Secret Charisma: More Confidence and More Sales

---

Tom Marcoux, Spoken Word Strategist and Executive Coach
CEO, International Speaker-Author of 50+ Books on Amazon,
including the book Convince Investors to Fund You: The Insider’s Guide to Avoid Deadly Mistakes and Gain Real Success with Your Startup Business

GetTheBigYES.com

“What you don’t know can kick you in the teeth,” I said, coaching my client, Susan.

She was stepping up into a new chapter of life. Instead of remaining a graphic artist, she sought my coaching. I helped her rise to the level of director for a department. As she made progress, she said, “This is so helpful. It’s like you’re the Communication Sage.”

I smiled. For years, I had been known as the Spoken Word Strategist. More importantly, another client was stepping into her power. How? By using communication secrets for excellent leadership.

How do you want to upgrade your leadership skills? What do you want to get done?

When I speak on the Darkest Secrets of Scaling, I share these Essential Truths. When business leaders want to scale up their business, they need to focus on core ideas and core disciplines.

Essential Truths

· You can lose all trust in one moment.
· It is easy to make people afraid to tell you the truth.
· “If you don’t have a reserve now, how can you handle more?”

(I remember this with “T.T.R.” — Trust, Truth, Reserve.)

1) You can lose all trust in one moment.

Here is an example of trust. At Pixar, there is an open environment where everyone can suggest a new idea. It doesn’t matter what your position is. Pixar’s leadership says, “The script is just the starting point.”

My friend Jon shared the experience that his friend Steve had. Steve confirmed the Pixar philosophy.

But then Steve went to another animation company that gave lip service to the idea of “we want to hear everybody.”

Steve offered a great idea, and the whole room laughed.

The so-called leader said, “What is your name? What do you do?”

“I’m a storyboard artist.”

“Well, then stick with that,” the so-called leader said.

This was an example of not living the philosophy you give lip service to.

That’s losing trust in one moment.

2) It is easy to make people afraid to tell you the truth.

It’s reported that Steve Jobs said on various occasions, “That’s the stupidest idea I ever heard.”

How many ideas did Steve Jobs never hear?

Are you going to stick your neck out for someone who kicks you in the teeth?

My question is: How can you lead if you don’t know what’s really going on?

Make sure you have patterns in place in which people can tell you the truth about various situations.

Avoid “beating up” somebody in front of other people.

Everybody watches.

3) “If you don’t have a reserve now, how can you handle more?”

How can you expand your business and scale up, if you’re already upside down?

Do you have a reserve of patience so you can handle all the disruptions of daily business life?

Do you have a reserve of time so you can think clearly?

Here are other reserves that empower you as a leader:

· Energy
· Health
· Sleep
· Recreation

Holding Reserves involves disciplines that keep you strong and cheerful.

Every day, people watch you. Can I trust this leader to hold his or her calm? Can I trust this leader to make great decisions?*

In summary, let’s remember these words: Trust, Truth, Reserve.

Essential Truths

· You can lose all trust in one moment.
· It is easy to make people afraid to tell you the truth.
· “If you don’t have a reserve now, how can you handle more?”

How will you implement patterns and actions to strengthen yourself and your leadership?

Many great moments on your path.

**********************************************

As a bonus, I’m sharing this set of questions that I wrote and use to help my clients make great decisions:

* 6 Golden Questions of Great Decision Making

1. Will I learn, grow, and form alliances?
2. Am I listening to fear or intuition?
3. What do I say are meaningful measurements?
4. What do I call “peanuts” or “coconuts”? [Small considerations versus big trouble. A coconut can break your nose.]
5. Can I make money all the while?
6. Am I blinded because I want this too much? [Wanting doesn’t make it true.]

Call to Action

To connect with your creativity and build for the future … Go deeper and take my online courses:

Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

Success Secrets: Confidence and Skills to Handle Toxic People

How You Can Believe in Yourself, Write and Complete Your Novel

Untold Secrets to Maximize Your Luck — Access the Hidden Abundant Universe: How You Can Overcome Limits (“Darkest Secrets”) and Use Timeless Wisdom, Science and Spirituality — in Business & Life

Darkest Secrets of Film Directing: How Successful Directors Overcome Hidden Traps

Be Fearless with Your Home-based Business — Unleash Your Hidden Wealth

Darkest Secrets of Making a Pitch for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say YES to Your Project

Your Secret Charisma: More Confidence and More Sales

 

---

Tom Marcoux, Spoken Word Strategist and Executive Coach
CEO, International Speaker-Author of 50+ Books on Amazon,
including the book Convince Investors to Fund You: The Insider’s Guide to Avoid Deadly Mistakes and Gain Real Success with Your Startup Business

GetTheBigYES.com

“Hard profit comes from soft skills,” I replied to my client, Helen. Her question had been “Isn’t it true that soft skills are secondary?”

When I addressed two audiences for the Corporate Innovation Summit* in Bangkok Thailand, I emphasized the power of soft skills that create trust. I delivered material from my book, Convince Investors to Fund You. In that book I reveal 3 Soft Skills that create hard profit.

[*Igniters teamed up with RISE for this summit. Igniters ran the associated Pitch Competition.]

I call these skills “The 3 C’s”:

• Connection-building
• Coachable
• Conflict-skilled

Investors will not invest and simply will not trust the startup leader who does not have these 3 Soft Skills. Team members and customers will drift away when they cannot trust you. Instead, you can use the 3 C’s.

1. Connection-building

“I don’t invest anymore in entrepreneurs who don’t have charisma.” — Barbara Corcoran, investor on TV Show “Shark Tank”

In my book, Darkest Secrets of Charisma, I describe what I call Warm Trust Charisma. The leader with Warm Trust Charisma knows how to build connections with investors, team members and customers.

I emphasize:

Soft skills create trust and connection.
Hard profit comes from trust and sustainability.

An organization will die on the vine if the leader does not know how to make excellent connections with investors, team members and customers.

A sale begins with trust. Trust begins with connection.

2. Coachable

Investors and customers will not put their money into a product or service if they cannot trust the leader or the organization. I recall hearing a friend saying, “I’m not going to buy that product. That company was caught doing [some horrible thing].”

Customers will trust a company that has team members who will learn from their mistakes. The process starts from the top. Is the leader coachable?



To create hard profit, you need to be flexible and fast moving in the marketplace. You need to build and adjust quickly. How is this created? The leader gets coaching in perspectives that are beyond the scope of one human mind. As part of my own circle, I have 15 people who I can run ideas with. We’re able to consider ideas, explore and discard those ideas that won’t create sustainable solutions.

As I mentioned, hard profit is based on trust and sustainability. Human beings and organizations go through tremendous struggles. I developed a term I call: Lifelines of Hope. I’ve noticed that in intense times of struggle, you can experience an important difference. You can have people you can trust and who can coach you to better outcomes. You’ll feel like you have Lifelines of Hope.

By the way, as a side note: When you receive support and coaching, you feel gratitude. That provides inner peace and hope.

I’ve written about 3 Type of Hope:

· Wishing-Hope (just sitting there, waiting for something good to happen)

· Action-Hope (you’re coachable, and you adjust your actions and move forward)

· Faithful-Hope (for many of us, this has a spiritual dimension)

My point is that being coachable is one of the great Soft Skills that makes you extraordinary as a leader and human being.

3. Conflict-skilled



Investors can trust a leader who is conflict-skilled. Effective organizations are able to adapt because different points of view are heard, considered and, at times, incorporated. An investor can ask the question: “Tell me about a problem. What did you do about it?”

Effective leaders respond to this question with a targeted story. They express details about how they skillfully worked with team members or even customers who were generating conflict.

In summary…

Soft skills create trust and connection.
Hard profit comes from trust and sustainability.

As the Spoken Word Strategist and Executive Coach, I have worked with leaders of companies, coaching them with skills that I have expressed in the books Confident English, Convince Investors to Fund You, and Shape the Future, Lead like a Pro.

Additionally, I guide people with my 8 online courses that include Success Secrets: Confidence & Skills to Handle Toxic People.

So, we answer Helen’s question: “Isn’t it true that soft skills are secondary?” The answer is if you want hard profit, Soft Skills are side by side with hard skills.

Many great moments on your journey.

success and happiness.

Call to Action

To connect with your creativity and build for the future … Go deeper and take my online courses:

Maximize Your Luck — Discover Your Hidden Strength:
How You Can Overcome Limits (“Darkest Secrets”) and Use Timeless Wisdom, Science and Spirituality — in Business & Life

Darkest Secrets of Film Directing: How Successful Directors Overcome Hidden Traps

Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

Darkest Secrets of Making a Pitch for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say YES to Your Project

Success Secrets: Confidence and Skills to Handle Toxic People

How You Can Believe in Yourself, Write and Complete Your Novel

The Work From Home Solution — Unleash Your Hidden Wealth

Your Secret Charisma: More Confidence and More Sales

---

Tom Marcoux, Spoken Word Strategist and Executive Coach
CEO, International Speaker-Author of 48 Books on Amazon,
including the book Convince Investors to Fund You: The Insider’s Guide to Avoid Deadly Mistakes and Gain Real Success with Your Startup Business

GetTheBigYES.com

As a first-time feature film director, I watched an actor wreck a scene. At this pivotal moment in the film, the character, John, confronts his past and expresses something he has told no one.

But the actor was playing the whole scene with one emotion, despair.

I didn’t know what to do. But then I thought of something. Bringing the actor to the side, I said, “You’re getting the sadness part. You, as the actor, read the script. You know how the scene ends. But the character does not know. At the beginning, he’s telling the story. He’s in the moment. He’s found her — the love of his life — in a refugee camp. So, he feels — ?”

“Happy. Relieved,” the actor said.

“Yes!”

The actor nodded.

“So, you have somewhere to go. Soon, he will lose her. That will be a whole different moment.”

We rolled the camera and ran the scene again.

Afterward, the actor dashed up to me. He grinned. “Tom, that was a great note!”

My chest filled with happiness. That’s how I became an “actor’s director.” It’s also how I became a better leader.

This experience gave me clues to 3 Unexpected Secrets related to Success and Happiness.

We’ll use the W.I.N. Process:

W — Wake up to contentment

I — Intensify your growth

N — Nurture Your Personal Energy Buffer

1. Wake up to contentment

To experience happiness and the energy to do what’s necessary for success, you need to connect with the present moment. The problem the actor faced was not being in the moment. The actor was playing the whole scene with only one emotion, despair.

Instead, when you are in the moment, you’re able to experience contentment. This became so clear when I heard the actor, Tony Hale, say this:

“When I got Arrested Development (TV show)… It was my dream… But it did not satisfy in the way I thought it was going to satisfy. Most of my life I had not practiced being present. If you’re not practicing contentment where you are, you’re not going to be content when you get what you want.” — Tony Hale

So how do we practice contentment? We shift our thoughts back to the present moment. What is good about your life at this moment? See if you can focus on something to be grateful for — in this moment.

Practicing contentment and gratitude enhances your personal energy. From that strong foundation, you can rise and do the strenuous things that support your true success.

2. Intensify your growth

“We are happy when we are growing.” — William Butler Yeats

Have you noticed that the times you felt enthusiastic or joyful were times when you were growing?

At times when I was growing, I felt better. I learned new skills. I explored and followed my intuition. When I look back at directing my first feature film, I know it was strenuous and terrifying at times. But I was happy. I shifted to focus on the present moment. Then I could be supportive of the actors and crew so they could do better work.

The idea we are happy when we are growing relates to the truth that we don’t need to feel comfortable. When addressing audiences from New York to New Zealand, I say, “Confidence is not comfort. Confidence is a toolkit, and you work it.” (Learn more about confidence, success and improving your luck and relationships, in my online course Maximize Your Luck.)

Many people discover they feel exhilarated as they stretch and rise up. You leave the valley and rise to new peaks in life where you see new options.

3. Nurture Your Personal Energy Buffer

Have you noticed that when you have a bit of extra energy, you can do better?

To perform at your best, you need a reservoir of energy or a Personal Energy Buffer. Then you’ll be able to observe things in the moment. You can be flexible and adapt quickly.

People who are depleted can truly feel miserable, and they share it. Some say misery loves company. I add: Misery creates company.

Do what’s necessary for your personal renewal, rest, and recreation. Then you can lead yourself and others to create positive outcomes.

As a feature film director and as a leader, I’ve found that with reserve energy I can guide a team member to shift to something positive and hopeful. This demonstrates the vital connection between success and happiness. When I take good care of myself and nurture my personal energy buffer, then I can be strong enough to lead and to support team members.

In summary, we have three important secrets that reveal a connection between success and happiness:

W — Wake up to contentment

I — Intensify your growth

N — Nurture Your Personal Energy Buffer

When you take action to practice contentment, focus on growth and nurture your Personal Energy Buffer, you open the door to new opportunities. You can act with flexibility. You can adapt in the moment. In that precious moment, you can perform at your best.

Call to Action

To connect with your creativity and build for the future … Go deeper and take my online courses:

Maximize Your Luck — Discover Your Hidden Strength:
How You Can Overcome Limits (“Darkest Secrets”) and Use Timeless Wisdom, Science and Spirituality — in Business & Life

Darkest Secrets of Film Directing: How Successful Directors Overcome Hidden Traps

Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

Darkest Secrets of Making a Pitch for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say YES to Your Project

Success Secrets: Confidence and Skills to Handle Toxic People

The Work From Home Solution — Unleash Your Hidden Wealth

Your Secret Charisma: More Confidence and More Sales

---

Tom Marcoux, Spoken Word Strategist and Executive Coach
CEO, International Speaker-Author of 48 Books on Amazon,
including the book Convince Investors to Fund You: The Insider’s Guide to Avoid Deadly Mistakes and Gain Real Success with Your Startup Business

GetTheBigYES.com